It’s almost here. Your first birthday. My very first year of being a mama to an amazing little girl. We’ve made it. Oh, how things have changed over the last twelve months. How much have I learned? And you? You learn, grow and change every day, right in front of my eyes. You’ve grown and changed more than I can really comprehend.
You were once a newborn
And it’s not so long ago. But still, when I look at photos of your first days and weeks, I can hardly believe how much you’ve changed since then.
I remember the feeling when you was born and I saw you for the very first time. There was this immediate and intense gush of love that probably every new mum experiences. But I was also surprised because you looked completely different to what I’ve imagined in the past nine months. I was expecting thick black hair like I had when I was born. But it was the right opposite; you had very little and light colored hair.
In your first weeks and months, you used to sleep on my chest. There were countless times when I tried to put you in your moses basket, only to wake you up in the process. You immediately started to cry and I had to start rocking and comforting you from the scratch again, no matter how tired I was from holding and carrying you around. Then you stopped sleeping on my chest. I don’t remember the last time you did that but at some point, I realised I miss those moments. That’s when it really hit me. The time was really going way too fast.
You used to cry for hours in the afternoon and I was praying for this phase to pass quickly. It was so exhausting, You would just cry and cry and cry. I used to dread the afternoons. I remember how jealous I was of other mums who have bigger children, not babies anymore. When I held you in my arms, you cried, when I put you down, you cried even more. I wanted you to be at least a toddler at that moment.
At first, I was feeling frustrated and angry. I did everything I could possibly think of to make you stop crying, but you wouldn’t. What else do you need, I thought to myself. But then I understood that it’s not personal and that babies of your age can cry a lot and it’s absolutely normal. I equipped myself with a lot of patience and we did overcome these challenging times together. You, my baby, gave me the strength.
After few weeks you finally stopped crying (for long periods, you still cried quite a bit, but it was manageable).
You started to smile, laugh, talk and get mobile
There were lots of firsts in the past twelve months as well. Each of them is special, although some of them are more vivid than others. I don’t have memories of your first smile but it brightens our days ever since I can remember. Your laughter and giggle when I tickle you are just too adorable.
Then there were things like the first roll over, first tooth, first flight, first crawl, first swim, first taste of some real food, first words like baba and mama and many many more firsts in your short but eventful life. Everything is new for you and you are so eager to explore the world around you.
In your early months, I used to hold and carry you in my arms a lot. I couldn’t wait for you to start moving and be more independent. Whatever developmental stage you were in, I always wanted you to be one step ahead in a belief that things would be easier then. Now, one year later, you are doing most of the things I wanted you to do. You can roll over, sit on your own, crawl, stand up and even walk while holding onto furniture. It won’t be long before you will be walking without any help.
You’ve got eight teeth now (and you like to let us feel them sometimes, ouch…), you’re not the biggest fan of vegetables…YET (I’m still hopeful that one day you might be), on the other hand, I think you could survive purely on yoghurts and tons of sweet corn, we also survived six flights together (unharmed and in one piece).
Are things easier now, than they were months ago? They seem a bit easier but I think I’ve just adapted more to this new role of being your mama.
I don’t have to hold you constantly anymore. These days you are quite happy to be left on the floor. You love to follow me everywhere and your favourite toys are anything and everything you can get your hands on, that is apart from the actual toys, of course.
You bring so much happiness and joy to mummy’s and daddy’s life baby girl. Looking back at the past twelve months, I would love to experience these special moments with you again and again from the beginning. It was truly a very special, extraordinary, and the most memorable year of my life and I’m the luckiest person on Earth because I am your mama.
This is only your first birthday, and there are many more to come, many more memories that will be created.
But for now, Happy First Birthday my sweet baby.
Your Mama xxx